How to overcome imposter syndrome: 6 coaching strategies and exercises
Feeling like a fraud in work or life?
This guide will show you how to overcome imposter syndrome with 6 simple coaching strategies.
You have a sneaking suspicion that you’re sh*t.
You’ve completed the certifications and got years of experience under your belt.
And yet, there it is: that creeping doubt that you don’t deserve to be here, and you reckon that any day now your shortcomings are going to come out.
Sounds like you’ve got a classic case of imposter syndrome. AKA that persistent feeling of doubt and inadequacy that nags at you DESPITE evidence of your success.
Another certificate or course won’t solve it. And another career milestone won’t make it go away either.
If you really want to give imposter syndrome the heave-ho? You need to look at it through a systemic coaching lens.
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Let’s unravel it step-by-step…
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What causes imposter syndrome?
Did you know imposter syndrome is actually more prevalent among high-achieving people? Yep. Not-so-fun fact: it’s more common among perfectionists and those in leadership roles.
You might blame a competitive workplace environment or assume imposter syndrome is simply a self-esteem issue.
But to really understand why you feel ike an imposter, you need to zoom out for sec, and look at the unspoken dynamics in your family, work, and cultural systems.
At its root, imposter syndrome can stem from:
Unconscious loyalty to family dynamics (“No one in my family was successful. I can’t outshine them.”)
Inherited beliefs around worth, visibility, or success
Organisational roles that trap us in over-functioning or people-pleasing patterns
And you thought you just needed to deepen your skillset, eh?The truth is much more straightforward. Imposter syndrome will always be there, no matter how skilled, talented, and competent you become, UNLESS you learn to unlearn these patterns.What imposter syndrome’s really saying.
You know that “I’m a fraud” feeling that’s basically the hallmark of imposter syndrome? What it’s really saying is “I don’t belong here.”
Or perhaps more accurately, “I haven’t EARNED the right to belong here.”
It arises when we question our right to exist in a role, community, or level of success. But here’s the reframe:
Belonging isn’t something you earn through perfectionism, overwork, or more training. Your belonging is inherent.
Early in life, you might have learned that love, attention, and approval are conditional and based on your performance. (Think of some of the praise or criticism you received at school!)
These early experiences form invisible belief systems, like:
“I must work hard to be accepted.”
“If I make a mistake, I’ll be rejected.”
“I have to be the best to be safe here.”
Now, can you see how these beliefs feed into imposter syndrome and that feeling of not quite measuring up?
Good! It’s time to challenge those beliefs so you can stop trying to constantly prove yourself and start feeling like you belong.
Here’s how…
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How to overcome imposter syndrome in 6 steps
Explore your systems
Looking at the systems you are a part of might not be something you’re familiar with, but it’s an incredibly valuable tool, because none of us operates in isolation.
We’re all part of systems (like family, work, and cultural systems) and, as you’ve just learned, those systems impact how we see ourselves and our place in the world.
And when they aren’t working in our favour? You best believe they contribute to rules and expectations that feed into the very thing you’re trying to conquer: Imposter syndrome.
So take five minutes right now, grab a pen and paper, and map out the systems you are a part of.
Make sure to include the main characters in those systems, like mentors, managers, peers, family members, and friends.
Once you’ve got that done? Ask yourself some tough love questions. (This is your chance to be really honest with yourself!)
Is there someone whose story or journey I relate to deeply, and does that connection sometimes make me question my own path?
What old family or cultural stories about success and worthiness do I carry with me?
When have I noticed myself dimming my light or quieting my voice, and what was happening around me at that time?
What parts of myself feel “too much” or “not enough” in my current work or relationships?
Can you see how these (often invisible) influences contribute to that feeling of not enoughness or what I call not enough-itis?
2. Question your loyalties
Imposter syndrome isn’t just about how we relate to ourselves. It’s about how we relate to others, specifically the loyalties we have to them.
And it’s these hidden loyalties that can keep us playing small and questioning our abilities.
Sometimes, we can feel like imposters, not because we’re incapable but because we're loyal to someone else’s limitations.
Maybe a parent sacrificed their ambitions to raise you. Or a sibling struggled, and you don’t want to outshine them.
These inherited dynamics can show up as guilt, sabotage, and unworthiness.
Now that you’re aware of these loyalties, a reminder can be helpful.
Repeat after me:
You’re not betraying anyone by succeeding!
Repeat after me: You’re not betraying anyone by succeeding
Imposter syndrome isn’t just about how we relate to ourselves. It’s about how we relate to others, specifically the loyalties we have to them.
3. Ask yourself, “Am I out of sync?”
Sometimes, imposter syndrome shows up simply because you aren’t where you’re meant to be. I don’t mean that in a wishy-washy or ‘woo woo’ sense.
No, I’m talking about that deep ‘out of sync’ feeling we get when we’re living in systems we simply don’t want to be in, like a job that drains you or a leadership role you thought you really wanted.
When you’re trying to prove yourself in a space that isn’t truly yours, it’s natural to feel like a fraud.
This is your opportunity to reflect on where you are holding on to something to meet expectations (yours or someone else’s) or to prove yourself to others.
This can be a scary step. It involves being totally honest with yourself, but it’s also where you’ll find the clarity you need to move forward. How to realign with your values
Identify your core values first. Make a list of 5-10 values that matter most to you. Don’t overthink it. Just jot down what immediately comes to mind.
Spot the disconnect. Take a look at your life and consider where you might be neglecting these values. (This step will take a little time. Don’t rush it!)
Make small tweaks. Now you know where you’re out of alignment, it’s time to think about what small changes you make to live closer to your values.
Turn those tweaks into daily habits. Change isn’t a one-time thing, it’s an everyday thing! Every day, ask yourself how you can live in alignment with your values.
4. Reconnect with your strengths
If imposter syndrome has been dominating your inner dialogue, I’ll bet you haven’t given much thought to the things you’re good at recently.
(Imposter syndrome likes to remind us where we’re falling short, after all!)
To flip the script, you can write a list of your biggest strengths, but a tool I really like to use is tapping into the positive attributes you’ve inherited.
Because the systems you are a part of aren’t always detrimental, often they can be a force for good.
Try this:
Think about someone in your family who inspires you. What qualities do they embody?
When you feel self-doubt, remind yourself that you carry some of that strength too.
5. Recognise that you don’t need to know it all
There’s a sneaky way that imposter syndrome shows up, and it’s over-preparedness.
Believing you have to know it all to be credible, successful, and respected often means obsessing about what you don’t know and taking endless certifications and qualifications to close the gap.
And it makes sense that you feel that way, because so many of our cultural systems - from school to corporate settings - reward certainty, competence, and confidence.
But not knowing everything isn’t a flaw. It’s human, and a reframe can help you recognise that.
Try this…
Instead of “I should know this already,” try “I’m allowed to be learning.”
Instead of “I’ll sound stupid if I ask,” try “I’m modelling courage by asking.
6. Reconsider your roles
If imposter syndrome had a voice, it would probably say: “You don’t belong here.”
More often than not, that loud voice belongs to a role you have unconsciously taken on.
Maybe the quiet one who didn’t take up space, the overachiever who always had to be two steps ahead, or the one who always had to prove their worth.
These roles can help you succeed, but they can sabotage you, too. How? Because they keep you stuck in survival mode and make you work twice as hard to feel enough.
You don’t need to abandon the roles that helped you survive, but you can adapt them so they serve you better.
Try this…
Name the role you often fall into when imposter syndrome flares up.
Ask: What did this role help me with? And what is it costing me now?
Then get curious: What new role might serve me better?
(Spoiler alert: It’s one rooted in confidence, ease, and trust.)
Ready to move Past Imposter to a
more Resourced and confident You?
Imposter syndrome is simply a sign that you have inherited certain beliefs that are keeping you stuck. And the good news is your beliefs can always be reinvented.
A final thought
Imposter syndrome can easily convince you that you are a fraud. But that’s not the case.
Imposter syndrome is simply a sign that you have inherited certain beliefs that are keeping you stuck. And the good news is your beliefs can always be reinvented.
