5 signs your team could benefit from a systemic coach

Everyone is talking about AI transformation.

Not many people are talking about the teams living inside it.

The restructures and the redundancies. The colleagues who are just gone. The ones who stayed. Doing more work. In a team that is still trying to understand who they are now.

This piece is for HR professionals and the leaders who genuinely care about their people — not just the output.

The ones who are watching productivity hold, just about, while quietly sensing that something underneath it is not right.

Change fatigue is real. And it is being made worse by the language we keep reaching for to describe it. Resilience. Agility. Transformation. These words have been used so many times, for so many changes, that they have lost their meaning. People hear them now and feel tired before the sentence is finished.

What follows is simpler than that.

1. People are working harder and connecting less

The work is getting done. But something that used to be there is not there anymore.

People show up. They deliver. And then they go. The conversations that used to happen in between, the ones that were never in any meeting agenda but held everything together, those are gone.

AI took over some of the tasks. But it did not replace what those tasks gave people: a reason to be in the room together. Their purpose.

When humans lose the ordinary moments, they lose the thread and connection to each other. And productivity built on disconnection has a short shelf life.

2. There’s a weight in the room that nobody is naming

Layoffs leave something behind. Not just the empty desks.

They leave a feeling. And that feeling is complicated. The people who stayed did not just feel lucky. Some felt guilty. Some felt angry. Some felt both at the same time in the same meeting and had no idea what to do with that. So they put it away. And got on with it.

The system..the team, the organisation carries that weight whether anyone talks about it or not.

In systemic work, we say: what is excluded, returns. What is not acknowledged, does not disappear. It goes somewhere. Usually into the body. Or the culture.

Change fatigue is not weakness. It is what happens when people are asked to keep moving without ever being allowed to stop and recognise what was lost.

3. One person seems to be feeling it for everyone

This is one of the most important signs. And the most misread.

In every team going through difficulty, there is often one person who appears to be struggling more than the rest. They might be more emotional than seems reasonable. More vocal about what is wrong. More hurt by the changes than anyone thinks they should be.

They are often labelled as the problem. Too sensitive. Not coping. A performance issue.

In systemic work, this person is usually not the problem. They are carrying something that belongs to the whole team. The grief, the anger, the fear — that the others have had to set aside in order to function. This person did not numb fast enough. Or did not want to.

They are a messenger. The system is speaking through them.

HR and leaders who care will look at this person differently. Not as a case to manage, but as a signal to read. The question is not: what is wrong with them? The question is: what does this team need to say that it hasn’t been allowed to say yet?

4. Decisions feel stuck even when the direction is clear

The strategy is set. The tools are in place. But something keeps not moving.

Teams resist — not because they don’t understand the plan, but because the plan hasn’t acknowledged what came before it. When people feel that what mattered to them has been quietly erased, they stop trusting the next thing. Not loudly. Just slowly. They comply without committing. They attend without engaging. They nod while something inside them does not move.

This is not obstruction. This is a system protecting itself until it feels safe enough to move forward.

5. The leaders who care most are starting to doubt themselves

The loyal ones. The ones who stayed because they believed in the team, the culture, the mission. The ones who absorbed the anxiety of those around them and tried to hold it all together.

They are exhausted. And they are starting to wonder if caring this much is actually a problem.

It is not. But it is unsustainable without support.

A leader who is loyal to their people and to the system is an asset. But loyalty without a structure to hold it becomes a weight that one person carries alone. Systemic coaching gives that leader somewhere to put it down — not to give up on the team, but to see it more clearly.

What systemic coaching actually does

It does not fix people. It does not run resilience workshops or deliver keynotes about bouncing back.

It helps a team see itself. What it is carrying. What it has lost and not yet acknowledged. What it already knows but hasn’t found words for.

When a team can do that, when the unspoken things find language, when the grief has somewhere to land, when the person who was carrying everyone else’s feelings no longer has to do it alone something shifts.

The decisions that were stuck start to move. The person who seemed like a problem starts to settle. The leader who was holding everything starts to breathe. The work gets lighter, not because the work has changed, but because the weight beneath it has finally been named.

That is not a soft outcome. That is what makes the productivity sustainable.

If something in this list is landing, if you recognise a team, a person, a pattern I’d be glad to have a conversation.

Not about fixing. About seeing clearly.

How to overcome imposter syndrome: 6 coaching strategies and exercises

Feeling like a fraud in work or life?

This guide will show you how to overcome imposter syndrome with 6 simple coaching strategies.

You have a sneaking suspicion that you’re sh*t.

You’ve completed the certifications and got years of experience under your belt.

And yet, there it is: that creeping doubt that you don’t deserve to be here, and you reckon that any day now your shortcomings are going to come out. 

Sounds like you’ve got a classic case of imposter syndrome. AKA that persistent feeling of doubt and inadequacy that nags at you DESPITE evidence of your success. 

Another certificate or course won’t solve it. And another career milestone won’t make it go away either. 

If you really want to give imposter syndrome the heave-ho? You need to look at it through a systemic coaching lens. 

Ready to overcome imposter syndrome? 

Let’s unravel it step-by-step…

Find a way past the Imposter - Book a Coaching Session 

What causes imposter syndrome?

Did you know imposter syndrome is actually more prevalent among high-achieving people? Yep. Not-so-fun fact: it’s more common among perfectionists and those in leadership roles. 

You might blame a competitive workplace environment or assume imposter syndrome is simply a self-esteem issue.

But to really understand why you feel ike an imposter, you need to zoom out for sec, and look at the unspoken dynamics in your family, work, and cultural systems. 

At its root, imposter syndrome can stem from:

• Unconscious loyalty to family dynamics (“No one in my family was successful. I can’t outshine them.”)

• Inherited beliefs around worth, visibility, or success

• Organisational roles that trap us in over-functioning or people-pleasing patterns

  And you thought you just needed to deepen your skillset, eh? 

  The truth is much more straightforward. Imposter syndrome will always be there, no matter how skilled, talented, and competent you become, UNLESS you learn to unlearn these patterns.

  What imposter syndrome’s really saying.

You know that “I’m a fraud” feeling that’s basically the hallmark of imposter syndrome? What it’s really saying is “I don’t belong here.” 

Or perhaps more accurately, “I haven’t EARNED the right to belong here.” 
It arises when we question our right to exist in a role, community, or level of success. But here’s the reframe: 
Belonging isn’t something you earn through perfectionism, overwork, or more training. Your belonging is inherent. 

Early in life, you might have learned that love, attention, and approval are conditional and based on your performance. (Think of some of the praise or criticism you received at school!) 

These early experiences form invisible belief systems, like:

• “I must work hard to be accepted.”

• “If I make a mistake, I’ll be rejected.”

• “I have to be the best to be safe here.”

Now, can you see how these beliefs feed into imposter syndrome and that feeling of not quite measuring up? 

Good! It’s time to challenge those beliefs so you can stop trying to constantly prove yourself and start feeling like you belong. 

Here’s how…

Ready to Move past these beliefs? 

How to overcome imposter syndrome in 6 steps

1. Explore your systems

Looking at the systems you are a part of might not be something you’re familiar with, but it’s an incredibly valuable tool, because none of us operates in isolation. 

We’re all part of systems (like family, work, and cultural systems) and, as you’ve just learned, those systems impact how we see ourselves and our place in the world.

And when they aren’t working in our favour? You best believe they contribute to rules and expectations that feed into the very thing you’re trying to conquer: Imposter syndrome. 

So take five minutes right now, grab a pen and paper, and map out the systems you are a part of. 

Make sure to include the main characters in those systems, like mentors, managers, peers, family members, and friends. 

Once you’ve got that done? Ask yourself some tough love questions. (This is your chance to be really honest with yourself!) 

• Is there someone whose story or journey I relate to deeply, and does that connection sometimes make me question my own path?

• What old family or cultural stories about success and worthiness do I carry with me? 

• When have I noticed myself dimming my light or quieting my voice, and what was happening around me at that time?

• What parts of myself feel “too much” or “not enough” in my current work or relationships?

Can you see how these (often invisible) influences contribute to that feeling of not enoughness or what I call not enough-itis? 

2. Question your loyalties

Imposter syndrome isn’t just about how we relate to ourselves. It’s about how we relate to others, specifically the loyalties we have to them. 

And it’s these hidden loyalties that can keep us playing small and questioning our abilities. 

Sometimes, we can feel like imposters, not because we’re incapable but because we're loyal to someone else’s limitations. 

Maybe a parent sacrificed their ambitions to raise you. Or a sibling struggled, and you don’t want to outshine them. 

These inherited dynamics can show up as guilt, sabotage, and unworthiness.

Now that you’re aware of these loyalties, a reminder can be helpful.

Repeat after me:

You’re not betraying anyone by succeeding!

Repeat after me: You’re not betraying anyone by succeeding

Imposter syndrome isn’t just about how we relate to ourselves. It’s about how we relate to others, specifically the loyalties we have to them. 

3. Ask yourself, “Am I out of sync?” 

Sometimes, imposter syndrome shows up simply because you aren’t where you’re meant to be. I don’t mean that in a wishy-washy or ‘woo woo’ sense. 

No, I’m talking about that deep ‘out of sync’ feeling we get when we’re living in systems we simply don’t want to be in, like a job that drains you or a leadership role you thought you really wanted.

When you’re trying to prove yourself in a space that isn’t truly yours, it’s natural to feel like a fraud.
This is your opportunity to reflect on where you are holding on to something to meet expectations (yours or someone else’s) or to prove yourself to others. 

This can be a scary step. It involves being totally honest with yourself, but it’s also where you’ll find the clarity you need to move forward. How to realign with your values

• Identify your core values first. Make a list of 5-10 values that matter most to you. Don’t overthink it. Just jot down what immediately comes to mind. 

• Spot the disconnect. Take a look at your life and consider where you might be neglecting these values. (This step will take a little time. Don’t rush it!) 

• Make small tweaks. Now you know where you’re out of alignment, it’s time to think about what small changes you make to live closer to your values. 

• Turn those tweaks into daily habits. Change isn’t a one-time thing, it’s an everyday thing! Every day, ask yourself how you can live in alignment with your values. 

4. Reconnect with your strengths

If imposter syndrome has been dominating your inner dialogue, I’ll bet you haven’t given much thought to the things you’re good at recently. 

(Imposter syndrome likes to remind us where we’re falling short, after all!) 

To flip the script, you can write a list of your biggest strengths, but a tool I really like to use is tapping into the positive attributes you’ve inherited. 

Because the systems you are a part of aren’t always detrimental, often they can be a force for good. 

Try this:

• Think about someone in your family who inspires you. What qualities do they embody?

• When you feel self-doubt, remind yourself that you carry some of that strength too.

5. Recognise that you don’t need to know it all 

There’s a sneaky way that imposter syndrome shows up, and it’s over-preparedness. 

Believing you have to know it all to be credible, successful, and respected often means obsessing about what you don’t know and taking endless certifications and qualifications to close the gap. 

And it makes sense that you feel that way, because so many of our cultural systems - from school to corporate settings - reward certainty, competence, and confidence. 

But not knowing everything isn’t a flaw. It’s human, and a reframe can help you recognise that. 

Try this…

Instead of “I should know this already,” try “I’m allowed to be learning.”

Instead of “I’ll sound stupid if I ask,” try “I’m modelling courage by asking.

6. Reconsider your roles

If imposter syndrome had a voice, it would probably say: “You don’t belong here.” 

More often than not, that loud voice belongs to a role you have unconsciously taken on. 

Maybe the quiet one who didn’t take up space, the overachiever who always had to be two steps ahead, or the one who always had to prove their worth. 
These roles can help you succeed, but they can sabotage you, too. How? Because they keep you stuck in survival mode and make you work twice as hard to feel enough. 
You don’t need to abandon the roles that helped you survive, but you can adapt them so they serve you better. 

Try this… 

• Name the role you often fall into when imposter syndrome flares up.

• Ask: What did this role help me with? And what is it costing me now?

• Then get curious: What new role might serve me better?

  (Spoiler alert: It’s one rooted in confidence, ease, and trust.) 

Ready to move Past Imposter to a

more Resourced and confident You?

Imposter syndrome is simply a sign that you have inherited certain beliefs that are keeping you stuck. And the good news is your beliefs can always be reinvented. 

A final thought

Imposter syndrome can easily convince you that you are a fraud. But that’s not the case. 

Imposter syndrome is simply a sign that you have inherited certain beliefs that are keeping you stuck. And the good news is your beliefs can always be reinvented.

Stopping people pleasing: How to unlearn people pleasing behaviour

Always put others first?  

This guide to stopping people pleasing will help you set boundaries, say no, and put YOU back on the priority list.

Ah, people pleasing. You know it’s not sustainable; always saying yes, putting others first, and keeping the peace no matter what. 

Chances are you’ve landed on this page because you know your people pleasing tendencies NEED to stop. 

I’ll level with you, stopping people pleasing ain’t easy, especially when you fear every people-pleaser’s worst nightmare: letting other people down. 

(Can anyone else hear the theme tune of Psycho playing faintly in the background?!) 

But nobody panic. 

In about two minutes, I’m going to give you a bunch of tools to stop people pleasing in a way that won’t make you feel like a total asshole or lead to a bunch of conflict and discomfort. 

But first, are you actually a people pleaser? Let’s find out… 

 Psst! Never want to worry about

being a people pleaser again?

My one-to-one coaching sessions

will help you kick the habit for good.

What is a people pleaser? 

By definition, a people pleaser is someone who puts other people’s needs before their own, which, on the surface, sounds like a pretty cool and admirable thing to do. 

Trouble is, people pleasers often prioritise others to avoid conflict or to be liked and to fit in. 

The other issue? When you’re super busy making sure everyone else is happy, it usually means your own needs and wants routinely fall to the wayside. 

And that can have some serious downsides if it’s not corrected over time. We’re talking anger, frustration, self-worth and self-esteem issues, anxiety, and a loss of self. 

If you’ve just found yourself nodding along (and have now diagnosed yourself as a card-carrying people-pleaser), don’t panic. 

The first step to stopping people pleasing is to recognise the habit and then slowly unravel it.

Before we do that, we need to answer one big question… .

What causes people pleasing? 

If stopping people-pleasing is your goal, understanding why you do it is pretty damn important. 

Why do you often say ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’? Why do you need other people’s approval to feel good? 

People pleasing behaviour usually stems from one of these…. 

Low self-esteem: Yep, if you don’t value yourself, then you’ll probably have a pretty hard time recognising your needs and wants as a priority. Ergo, everyone else comes first! 

Fear of conflict: You don’t like confrontation. I mean, who does? People pleasers, though, are really worried about confrontation and will do pretty much anything to avoid it, including staying quiet, when they really should speak up. 

Family experiences: Your past shapes your present in a big way when it comes to people-pleasing behaviour, and if you always played the role of caregiver and emotional regulator in your family when you were growing up, there’s a big chance you’ll have people pleasing tendencies as an adult too. 

Insecurity: When you’re unsure of yourself, you’re more likely to seek validation and approval from others. And that often means we do our best to please others so we can be accepted and liked. 

Perfectionism: If you’re the kind of person who wants to do everything to the highest standards, then you’ll probably set unrealistic expectations in your relationships too. 

That can look like avoiding conflict at all costs and saying ‘yes’ so you can be the perfect child/parent/colleague/friend. 

Recognise yourself in any of these patterns?

That’s a good thing. Awareness is the first step to change. So, let’s go… 

6 steps to stopping people pleasing 

1. Get comfortable saying ‘no’ 

I know what you’re thinking. Easier said than done, right? For the people pleaser, saying ‘no’ feels like lobbing an insult at someone, but what if you reframed it? 
What if saying ‘no’ wasn’t a rejection, but a protection? It doesn’t just protect your time, energy and wellbeing, it also leads to greater integrity in your relationships. 
Because after all, do you really want to do things for other people begrudgingly? 
When you say ‘yes’ when you really want to say ‘no’, you feel angry and resentful, and those emotions aren’t doing you or the people close to you any favours.

By saying no, you are ensuring that you can give the right energy to the people around you when it matters most.

You can show up fully. 

2. Start disappointing people 

If just reading that sentence made you feel uncomfortable, I totally get it! 

Nobody likes to feel like they’re letting others down, but if stopping people pleasing is your goal, you need to make peace with the fact that you can’t satisfy everybody all of the time. 

So consider this your permission slip to start refusing requests that don’t align with your priorities. Look for small ways to put this into action. 

Maybe it’s turning down that Zoom call or saying no to a favour you just don’t have the capacity for. 

The really good news? The more you do this, the easier it gets. Slowly but surely, you teach your nervous system that the world doesn’t end when you say no. 

3. Let go of being ‘the good one’ 

Has being the good, reliable, caring and easy-going one become your identity? Do you pride yourself on being someone friends and family can rely on, no matter what? 

That’s admirable, but you can probably admit it’s also pretty suffocating. 

Family and professional structures can reward you for playing this part, but there’s an emotional load that comes with being the person who always drops everything, keeps the peace, and has all the answers. 

Stopping people pleasing behaviour means letting go of the roles that no longer serve you. Wondering how exactly you do that? 

Start by rewriting the script. Literally! 

Take these prompts, put pen to paper, and start filling in the blanks: 

"I’m allowed to stop being the one who always _______."

"I’m allowed to be the one who _______."

See if you can come up with five for each.

One focuses on letting go of roles that no longer serve you, while the other gives you permission to choose yourself. 

4. Use your values as a filter 

If your immediate response to that heading is, “Um, but what are my values?”, consider yourself a bona fide people pleaser! 

When people pleasing is your modus operandi, you don’t give much thought to what truly matters to you.

You’re too busy managing everyone else’s needs, expectations, and feelings. 

Now’s your time to figure out what’s actually important to you. (And when you do that, prioritising your own needs becomes SO much easier.

Start by asking yourself:

• What actually matters to me in life and work?

• What do I want to stand for?

• What do I want to feel more of each day, and what do I want to feel less of?

Then write down your top five values, AKA the things that feel most important to you when you strip away the noise. These values become your filter. Values like trust, freedom,

So, next time you’re about to say yes to something, ask yourself: Does this align with my values? 

It’s not about being difficult (heaven forbid!) but remembering that you and your values matter too. 

5. Set boundaries (and actually mean it!)

A people pleaser’s boundaries can be described as ‘lax’ at best and ‘non-existent’ at worst. 

For the people pleaser, boundaries are akin to being difficult and disappointing people. But not having them is only harming one person: YOU. 

So, how do you figure out your boundaries and, more importantly, enforce them? 

Start by identifying your limits. 

Where are you currently feeling drained, frustrated, or resentful? (

These emotions are usually a good sign that boundaries are lax and people pleasing is at play!) 

Once you’ve identified these areas, put pen to paper and reflect on what your needs are. What boundaries do you need to make these areas more manageable, peaceful, and balanced? 

And now that you’ve got those boundaries? It’s time for the tough part: consciously enforcing them.
Enforcing boundaries means sticking to your decision, EVEN when it feels uncomfortable. It’s stopping people pleasing 101: you need to say no (without guilt!) and prioritise your own needs (without feeling bad about it.)  

Here are some phrases to help you get started: 

• "I can't take this on right now."

• "I need some time to myself."

• "That doesn't work for me at the moment."

  
  6. Expect resistance 

Is everyone going to love this new assertive version of you? No. People who frequently overstep will be the first to get annoyed when you stop people pleasing.

Will they get used to it? Yes. 

This is probably the hardest part of stopping people pleasing. You’ll need to learn to stand your ground and to remember that you aren’t being difficult, uncaring, or selfish. 

You’re simply protecting your own mental and emotional health. And when you think about it: only when you prioritise your own needs, do you have more to give to others. 

Although the change is hard,

You’ll be learning to stand your ground and to remember that you aren’t being difficult, uncaring, or selfish. 

You’re simply protecting your own mental and emotional health. And when you think about it: only when you prioritise your own needs, do you have more to give to others. 

And if you’re thinking,

“I need accountability to make this change?”

That’s exactly what you’ll get in my one-to-one coaching sessions. 
It’s everything you need to understand why you people please, and shift those behaviours for good (without feeling bad about it!) 

‘Cause it’s time to put YOU back on the priority list!

P.S. listen to my Podcast episode - Career Change at 40 - is it to late? Spoiler No, its Your time

Resilience & Perseverance: How to develop these essential skills in times of change

Struggling with change?

Struggling with change? Success hinges on your ability to bounce back. Learn how to build resilience and perseverance so you can navigate uncertainty and setbacks. 

Change is inevitable. It’s also scary. And if there are two sidekicks you’re going to need to navigate it, it’s resilience and perseverance. 

Whether you’re leaving behind an unfulfilling corporate career, untangling yourself from systems that no longer serve you, or transitioning into entrepreneurship, resilience and perseverance will be your strongest allies. 

(I know from experience that they’re the difference between feeling crushed under the weight of change and feeling empowered by it.) 

Cultivate these two and you can adapt to uncertainty, bounce back from adversity, and ultimately find a purpose-driven career or business that aligns with your values. 

I won’t bullsh*t you. Resilience and perseverance aren’t a given; they are skills you need to consciously develop. 

So, let’s look at exactly how to do that, shall we? 

Navigating change alone is tough.

Let’s work through it together

Understanding resilience and perseverance 

First up, let’s do a deep dive on what resilience and perseverance actually are. 

What is resilience? 

Think of resilience as your ability to bounce back from setbacks and failure. 

It’s about finding an inner strength and resolve when things go wrong and learning to adapt to challenges, even when they feel impossible. 

Developing resilience means that, in time, the stuff that once bugged you no longer feels like such a big deal. 

What is perseverance? 

Put simply, perseverance is your ability to keep on keeping on when times are tough. It’s a stamina to keep working towards your goals, despite the many obstacles. 

It differs from motivation, which can fluctuate. Instead, perseverance is refusing to quit, no matter what challenges are thrown your way. 

Embracing the NEW!

Perseverance is your ability to keep on keeping on when times are tough. It’s a stamina to keep working towards your goals, despite the many obstacles. 

What resilience and perseverance aren’t…

If there’s one thing that really p**ses me off, it’s how resilience and perseverance are terms that have been hijacked by corporates who use them for their benefit. 

In corporate environments, you’re often expected to bounce back quickly in systems that expect too much of you. 

This blog post isn’t about pushing yourself to the brink or ‘developing a thicker skin’ for someone else’s gain. 

No, this is where you’ll learn how to use resilience and perseverance as YOUR personal resource so that you can adapt and recover during times of setback and change. 
It’s about making these skills your closest allies, so you can keep pushing towards your goals, EVEN when the going gets tough. 

Why resilience and perseverance are crucial in times of change

Not everyone is going to tell you this but when you’re going through a big life change, failure is going to become your most frequent visitor. 

You will fail more than you’ll triumph. Following a new path will require so much from you - shedding old identities, confronting your fears, and embracing new ways of thinking.

The transition can feel isolating, uncertain, and overwhelming and without our friends resilience and perseverance it will be easy to retreat back to your comfort zone. 

You’ll face many knocks, but if you slowly build resilience and perseverance you will… 

1. Feel less threatened and intimidated by the unknown 

2. Adapt to changes more quickly 

3. Recover from setbacks - and even feel motivated by them 

4. Make sustainable progress towards your goals

    
   Need clarity on your next steps? Start here

How to develop resilience and perseverance 

1. Reframe failure - it says nothing about your worth! 

Have you ever wondered why failure really stings? It’s because too often we see it as a sign of our self-worth. 

We internalise failure and failing quickly becomes ‘I AM a failure’. 

What if you simply saw failure as part of the journey? After all, nobody has achieved anything great without encountering their fair share of it. 

Reflect on a recent setback you experienced. When you look at it objectively, can you see how it’s not a reflection of who you are or what you’re capable of? 

2. Watch your language 

The language we use shapes how we think and feel about challenges and setbacks. Be mindful about how you describe the obstacles you’re facing. 

“This is impossible” and “I can’t do it” are disempowering phrases that lead to helplessness. Try replacing them with “This is difficult, but I will find a way” and “I can’t do this yet, but I’ll figure it out.” 

This way you’re focusing on growth, not defeat. 

3.Focus on the bigger picture 

A major part of developing resilience and perseverance is remembering why you started. 

When things get tough, it’s easy to get bogged down in the details and lose sight of your goals. 

Now is the time to visualise the end goal. Get hungry for it because when you know who you are and what you want from life, you’re more likely to keep pushing for it, no matter the setbacks. 

4. See challenges as learning opportunities 

I’ll be totally honest with you. There are times in my life when I’ve failed and if someone had told me to ‘see it as a learning opportunity’ I might have wanted to punch them in the face. (Or at the very least, send them a strongly worded email.) 

But after experiencing my fair share of setbacks, I know that the ability to find a lesson in a challenge is the difference between sink or swim. 

If you can find any lesson, no matter how small, in whatever it is you’re dealing with, you can find the determination to keep going. It’s no longer a defeat, but part of the learning process. 

Instead of asking ‘Why is this happening to me?’, try asking, ‘What is this teaching me?’. 

5.Be ready to pivot 

I’m pretty sure you don’t need me to tell you this, but life rarely goes to plan, no matter how well you plan for it. 

And that’s why flexibility and adaptability are key when it comes to developing resilience and perseverance. 

I don’t know about you, but I find great relief in acknowledging that things can and - let’s be honest here - will go wrong. 

When the plan changes (and trust me, it will) it’s okay to feel frustrated and to vent, but try not to get stuck there. 

Take a beat, and assess the detour. (Is it really as bad as you think it is?) 

Sometimes the best way forward isn’t the one you envisaged, so be open to other paths. 

6.Practice emotional regulation 

Nobody would blame you for throwing a bit of a tantrum when your best-laid plans go to sh*t. When setbacks happen, it’s easy (and dare I say, normal?) to get swept away by our emotions. 

Resilience and perseverance aren’t about suppressing your emotions, but about learning how to manage your emotions so they don’t manage you. 

What does that look like? 

When the sh*t hits the proverbial fan, it’s recognising your feelings, giving yourself space to process them, and choosing how you respond. 

I know what you’re thinking: Easy in theory, not so easy in practice, right? 

One simple practice that makes it easier is deep breathing. Take a moment (or however long you need) to breathe deeply, centre yourself, and assess the situation.

A final thought on resilience and perseverance 

Success isn’t a straight line, and whatever change you’re navigating right now, it can be helpful to remember that. 

You’re going to encounter lots of twists and turns, and when it feels like all is lost, it’s resilience and perseverance that will help you bounce back and keep moving forward. 

We can never fully protect ourselves from life’s curveballs, but if we develop resilience and perseverance, we can embrace the wobbly nature of change and keep going. 

I see all of you!

I believe in you, even when you doubt yourself and feel you have run out of resilience and perseverance!

Struggling with change? Let’s work through it together

P.S. listen to my Podcast episode - Career Change at 40 - is it to late? Spoiler No, its Your time